Many parents worry that their child is aggressive. They must be calm because aggression is a normal feature of the children’s character as long as it does not go beyond the permissible. When the time your child learn to control it, aggressiveness can be a positive quality and become synonymous with ambition and purpose. This depends largely on the attitude of parents and applied disciplinary measures.
A good parent managed to control excessive aggressiveness children without suppressing initiative. In different periods of life aggression is manifested in different ways. The little baby when hungry mad and crying frantically until they eat. Angry one-year child can reach out to slap her mother if she let him. At the age of two angry little man already stamping feet. If the 2-3 year old man take his toy, it will bite him or’ll sock with blade head. Four year old is now – with restraint. For starters will pospori with whoever is angry. So gradually the child control his aggression. When is older, he understands that it is pointless to hurt their loved ones and aggressive traits manifest themselves in the game of soldiers, bandits wrestlers. The gaming has strict rules that children observe and thus control their feelings. In-school games are replaced by sports competitions, discussions and competitions, activities requiring more aggressive instincts.
Obscene words are another form of expression of aggressive feelings. There period around the fourth year, when their children pleasure to shock adults with obscenities and even curses. Seeing neurotic reaction of their parents, they experience a pleasure that can influence the mood of others and intoxicated by his courage.
Another form of aggression is when a child bites. The little child who is teething bites harmless because it irritated gums. Larger who are cheerful and sociable and bite from time to time in self-defense also should not bother us.
Another issue is when a child bites systematically on each occasion. Then you need to consider what worries child. Perhaps home are too strict with him or someone terrorizing. Or poured his anger on other children because they can not bite his little brother who was crying incessantly. Some are shy, are not used to communicate with other children and see them as a threat.
In all acts of aggression should look for the cause. In general, a child becomes aggressive when they feel uncertain or thinks it threatens some danger.
How do we know whether our child is too aggressive:
– The child insists to fulfill his every desire immediately. If it does not react violently, shouting, crying, enraptured. Larger raising scandals;
– Does not allow anyone to touch his toys and personal belongings;
– Take offense parents and other children, constantly emphasizes their weaknesses. Use obscene words;
– Initiator’s fights. It itself is never guilty and fervently defend;
– Demonstration breaks toys that did not like and throw food that does not want;
– The main word in the dictionary is “I”;
– Impose their opinion and no reasonable arguments can not change him. What can you do against aggression?
The only way a small child to outgrow the tendency toward aggression: perseverance, clear rules (discipline) and understanding from parents.
Children need to learn positive ways of dealing with contentious situations. Parents and carers of children are people who can (and should) ask (and show) the correct pattern of behavior in a positive family (and social) environment.
From an early age children should learn respect for others. Reinforce them with the understanding that others also have needs and desires as themselves. Support your words with appropriate behavior towards others. Personal example is the best teacher.
Always seek the reason unlocked aggression of your child. More important than your specific reaction is to find the source and eliminate it. When you find regularity in aggressive behavior of the child, warn all who care for him in your absence (including teachers from kindergarten).
Pay attention to the environment – whether a particular activity or arrangement in the room cause irritation of the child? Give him enough privacy. Limit toys involving aggression – swords, sabers, guns …
All children, especially aggressive should have optimal daily routine enough sleep. Overtired child becomes nervous and aggressive.
Avoid arousing food – cola, chocolate and more.
Respond quickly. Try or react immediately when you notice that your child becomes aggressive. It is useless to wait to hit your brother for a third time, before you say “Enough” (especially not if you have repeated a dozen times in the last hour). Best every time to give clear that doing something bad. Remove the child from the situation briefly elsewhere – to sit 3-4 minutes peacefully enough for a child of this age. The idea is to connect behavior with consequences and understand that if you hit or bite will miss the fun. No matter how angry you are, try not to scream, not hitting the child and not to say it’s bad. Instead make him change his behavior, such a reaction on your part would have shown that verbal and physical aggression are the way to go when you’re angry. Instead, set a good example by controlling and quietly remove the child from the disputed situation.
Stick to this plan. As far as possible, respond to aggressive behavior is always the same way. The more predictable reaction you ( “well, you again hit Annie – this means re-sit for a while without playing ‘), the faster you will build a pattern that your child will recognize and expect. The result will be that the child will realize that if you behave badly, you will be removed from the game – this is the first step to controlling their own behavior. Even if you do something that puts you in a public place, stick to the plan. Most parents understand the situation you are in – all go through these periods. If you stare, just say something like, “Is not this wonderful age” and deal with the situation already established manner.
Talk. Allow the child to calm down and then calmly discuss what happened. The best time for this is when it’s settled down before she forgets the incident – ideally, between half and one hour later. Ask if you can explain what triggered her outburst ( “Why are you so angry Annie?”). Explain that it is normal to get angry sometimes, but it is nice to bump, hit, kick and bite. Offer your child other ways to show how angry – such as kicking a ball hitting the pillow to find an adult who can mediate the dispute or simply to speak aloud his feelings: “Annie was very angry that I took the purple crayon. “
Explain precisely and clearly what behavior you expect from your child – do not stop repeating requirements while the little man did not hear and did not begin to comply with them. Before the ban, such as “Do not bite!” Prefer a more positive: “When you bite, causing pain. If you want something, you better tell me! “.
Think of a list of activities that can distract the child from the negative situation – a favorite toy (which is always with you) walk “special” place in the playground, painting (an ideal way child to express their emotions without harming anyone) .
Use proximity with the child – when you feel that “brewing storm” closer tots to feel the security of your presence. Often this is enough to calm passions, especially if the cause of aggression is a sense of “threat”.
When something disable child, do so tactfully, in a calm tone. In each situation, let the child acceptable outcome.
Now is the time to teach your child to be away from the maddening situation or people think of as a more appropriate way to respond than waving fists. You can help your child by reading books together on this topic.
Control your child. If it hurts another child, your words may not be enough to stop it. You must remove your child from the “victim” and gently but firmly to stop the violence. Your role is to control events, which at this stage in your child missing. In time, it will be able to implement this control only.
When your child is among other children of the same or similar age, keep a constant eye to them. Your function will be the same as the referee in a football match – to interfere whenever one’s limits are breached. This is especially important not to hurt any of the children.
It is good to have as many toys around with whom to play kids. Be ready to intervene at the first skirmish occurred.
If children start fighting or any attempt to (or really) bite the other, divide children by placing a clear “no” message.
If your child does not understand the message and continue to attack or bite another child, secure and consequences. For starters you can look strictly child in the eye and tell him: “hands and mouth are not for hitting and biting. They only Millville, galim and eat. ”
Develop a sense of responsibility. If your child aggressiveness lead to damage of foreign things or mess, it should help make it right. It can glue a broken toy, for example, or collect cookies or cubes, she hurled in anger. Do not frame this as a punishment, but rather as a natural consequence of a belligerent act – everyone should do once broke something. Also make sure that the child is aware that should say “sorry” when you cross the border – even if you have to take him by the hand to the affected country and to say it for him. Her apologies may initially sound insincere, but the lesson will sink in.
Reward good behavior. Instead of paying attention only when the child behaves badly, try to notice when and behave – for example, when asked to play a computer game, snatching the mouse or retreat when the cradle of the waiting child. Tell him how proud of him. Show him that self-control and the peaceful resolution of conflicts are more rewarding – and give better results than shoving children. Put as special calendar on the refrigerator door or on the wall in the nursery and reward the child with colorful sticker when you had been able to resist.
Always appreciate the albeit small progress: “I saw that irritated and it was wonderful that managed to master his anger.” For you yourselves would be better to focus on the good behavior of their child, instead of constantly seeing his mistakes.
Explanations about the consequences of aggressive behavior save for when the child is calm – the perfect time for such calls is bedtime. Anger is an integral part of growing up.
Do not worry. Outbreaks in infancy are normal. If something is not working as a child imagined it conquers anger and frustration and poured his anger on objects around it or in the worst case on the children around him. How a boy or girl will react is rather a question of gender, but of temperament.
Some whimper and cry, others hit immediately. Simply can not master his feelings. They can not express his anger in words.
A good parent managed to control excessive aggressiveness children without suppressing initiative.