It’s nice to be a little jealous – it is a manifestation of attention, care, presence of the other half with thought and body. But it needs to be kept in reasonable norms. When jealousy becomes uncontrolled passion, sometimes even accompanied by aggression, present as a permanent feature of our partner, then it becomes obsessive, oppressive and depressing. It becomes dangerous enemy of love, able to kill it and become extremely cruel and painful.
It is reasonable to say that the foundation of jealousy stands perhaps in a lack of trust between partners.
When jealousy is a result of lost confidence, it is not so dangerous, because trust can still be won back and balance to be restored, but when the reasons are based on the characted of the jealous partner – the situation is serious. Yes, everyone has its own individual character and can never be perfect and we need to be tolerant and to tolerate the shortcomings of our partner.
However painful jealousy is a feature in the character of some people and can hardly be tolerated. Uncomfortable is the fact that there is no way to predict in advance that we are struck with this trouble. Usually at the beginning jealousy can even flatter us, make us feel significant and important. But when things get rough it is already quite late and becomes painful, sometimes even fatal. Cases of suicides, because of jealousy are not uncommon in human history.
How psychologists explain painful, pathological jealousy?
According to them jealous people for the most part, are people who have been deprived of love and attention from their parents, particularly their mother. A man who in his childhood lacked love of his mother or only had her conditional love, develops inside himself hidden problem vaguely manifested in behavior. It is a lack of confidence or a low one that leads to permanent doubts and distrust in love itself. Such a person constantly wants love to be proven, said and shown, because he does not believe in it. Tormented by doubts the jealous person also suffers alot. He longs for love, but does not believe in it. Even if you convince him briefly in it, he feels continuous and uncontrollable fear, that he could lose it.
Jealousy is an emotional reaction that can not be controlled and often resulted in breaking up. It is harassment for both partners. Jealous partner constantly spies, control his partner and unconsciously looks for suspicion and wrangling. He wants to know at any time where his partner is, what it does and he is constantly looking for proof that he or she is cheating. His behavior reminds of a small child who wants to ensure that his mother really loves him and will not abandon him. He tries to read letters, emails and messages of the partner, to eavesdrop his telephone conversations. All that haunts him and he became even inferior and as a person. The jealous person never believes that the problem is in him, not his partner. The jealous person can not get rid of jealousy and suffers from it.
In most cases, victims are both partners and most of all – love.